Mountain Sage Gifts

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"The real money is in franchising."

Please Seat Yourself

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

'It's the Mesolithic Age? - But I just got used to the PALEOlithic!'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

Saguaro Cacti.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

'Huh...I just got this sudden, uncontrollable urge to invent spoken language.'

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

"Hunters turned philosophers"

"Rough year?" (2021 new year baby asking 2020 old year man)

'And in further economic news, the silver lining in the latest economic crisies has been downgraded to bronze.'

The past only looks good when you're living in the present.

'Wh-h-hatz-u-upp, dude?'

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

"Like the boy scouts, Preacher; always prepared."

Examine stored vegetables and throw out those which show signs of rotting.

"It seems like all we talk about anymore is the weather."

"I'm going to call it zero."

"If you don't want to know the score..."

Jesus Saves

'Ancient bones. Early man. Valuable. Probably Uncle Fred.'

Early entrepreneurs

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single status update."