Mountain Climbing Sage Gifts

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

The chairman's boat springs a leak: 'Just keep bailing and never mind the wisecracks.'

"Read me back the minutes from the last dip."

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

Wang Yangming takes a scroll of knowledge from a crane.

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

"Always stay rooted, or you'll turn into a tumbleweed..."

"It's still in beta."

Examine stored vegetables and throw out those which show signs of rotting.

"It needs more old salt."

"Like the boy scouts, Preacher; always prepared."

"The real money is in franchising."

"If you don't want to know the score..."

Jesus Saves

'Hey newbie. Just ease and squeeze, ease and squeeze!'

"A door can never have too many hinges."

'We do not tee off in front of the markers.' - 'This is my second stroke.'

Ski Lift

"It's true you always need to be prepared but you're not going to need the microwave."

Moses Parting the Half-Pipe

"Sorry about that - just clearing my throat."

Ars longa, vita brevis (Art is long, life is short).

'Stop! Listen to me! Size matters!!'

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

"You experience violent mood swings from elation to despair? That's normal for a boat owner."

Holiday on Thin Ice

'Now you have that invisible fence you've been wanting.'

Please Seat Yourself

"You just couldn't shut up could you?"