Stoner Sage Gifts

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

Two Players both holding the same cue.

Music producers.

One way only.

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

'It's not dead, honey. You've just never seen it turned off before.'

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

Computer spying.

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

'It was pretty crazy around here that day.'

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

"We found a new virus. . . which affects stock portfolios."

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

The Return of Guarded Optimism

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"