Stage Sage Gifts

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

"I don't know who my audience is."

"A million monkeys typing for a million years might come up with Hamlet, but they could never direct it."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

'...your hindsight on this project was far more accurate than his foresight.'

Music producers.

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

One way only.

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

'It's not dead, honey. You've just never seen it turned off before.'

'CPA's' evolving into 'Consultants'

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

SWOTs

'We need to do a better job at whatever it is that we do.'

Computer spying.

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

"I recommend our 'wild' expectations be downgraded to 'great.'"

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'