Stock Market Samurai Gifts

'G-go ahead, F-Fred; p-pre-announce our disappointing 3rd quarter.'

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Overworked in the office

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

Chinese stock market

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

'Superstock'

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

'All right, gentlemen, this is the current picture of our growth industry!'

Out of control

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

"My name's Edwin, and I'm addicted to risk."

'Basically it's a stock that if a chain of near miraculous events would happen to occur, you'd make a bundle.'

Macho talk from down in accounting.

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

'Get me some shares in public opinion.'

Investments.

'I'm afraid the stock price gods are not happy Ralph.'

'In the belief that no news is good news, today's financial report has been cancelled.'