Stock Market Sailors Gifts

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

Money pouring in for a 'Acme Doodad Company's IPO.

'Daddy is going off to stimulate the economy by making gobs of money.'

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

A large yacht carries a small wood house.

'Get me some shares in public opinion.'

'What do you mean your telling me, 'stash it under the bed' is your best advice in the current financial climate?'

'In the belief that no news is good news, today's financial report has been cancelled.'

"Today's numbers. . . seashells up one, lobsters up three, claims down one, mussels up one . . ."

John Lee Dotkomm palys the 'Broker's Blues

"Subtracting net cash brings the P/E down to 47, and, finally, crossing out the 4 brings it down to a very reasonable P/E of 7."

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

'Tech stocks performed better today after the market was defragged.'

"I've passed your complaints along to the captain."

"Gas, is it the future?"

'There's a bear on line one and a bull on line two. Who do you want me to put through first?'

"Today stocks rose on the news that 'down' is a temporary state of mind."

Money down the drain.

The Dohertys, Bill, Sue, Ellen, Brad and Tina, complete the first trans-Atlantic picnic table crossing.

'Stocks fell on the news that whatever can go wrong, usually does go wrong.'

Sailing enthusiast brings his hobby to his office.

Gold Crisis

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

"Today big pharma stocks rose on news 'down' is a state of mind that can be treated by pharmaceuticals."

"The stocks rally wavered on news Janet Yellen sounded greenspanish."

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'How did your big investment go, dear?'

'US stocks dropped on news of more people buying cheap goods from China...'

"Day trading? What's made in a minute is lost in a second."

'This is where the company started handing out sick bags!'