Stock Samurai Gifts

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Overworked in the office

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

Decapitated coffee.

Macho talk from down in accounting.

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'Here's the improved margins you said you wanted to see this year, Tom.'

"This is Thompson, he has a black belt in budget control."

'First the good news.'

No one ever tried to rob the Samurai Bank.

'This is a very bad report, Jenkins. Go to your cubicle.'

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

'Relax. I've come for your high yield 30 year Treasury bonds. They're about to expire.'

'G-go ahead, F-Fred; p-pre-announce our disappointing 3rd quarter.'

Stock marketeers shooting each other playfully with guns full of money

"Forget consumer confidence, what we need is consumer gullibility."

"I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'."

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

"I have been inputting garbage into my systems for 12 months, why is this spend analysis GARBAGE?!"

'I'm outta here.'

When accountants carry out dawn raids.

Uncle Sam argues about pollution with China.

'Excellent Hoskins, you've got all the right numbers, now shall we see if you can put them in the right order?'

Samurai - Accountant.

Welcome to 'Should've, Would've, Could've', the investment hindsight show.

How scrapbookers see progress. ('I've been scrapbooking for ten years and I've got two pages done already!' 'Wow, you're fast!')

"I crunched the numbers and now they're so smooshed up I can't read them."

Stock Exchange. The stock price is being artificially pumped up! They're using share-oids!

"We're always ready to travel at a moment's notice."