Supermarket Samurai Gifts

'And the Mannies goes to . . . Dan Danielson for successfully carrying 17 bags of groceries in one trip.'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

"We're odd looking but just as good."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Price may vary with weather.

Decapitated coffee.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

Low Hanging Fruit

Attack of the 'health' foods

Biker chopper shopper

"Sir, surely it's irresponsible to be throwing away so much edible food?"

"I hab peenut buffer stok to woof of my mout!"

"Sorry, Martin, but because you're the weakest link in our food chain here, you're fired."

'If you want produce grown on the farm down the road you'll have to go to Kuala Lumpur.'

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

'G-go ahead, F-Fred; p-pre-announce our disappointing 3rd quarter.'

Large Very Fresh Eggs

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

Super express lane for working mothers only!

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

'They're doing their tests now?

Awkward customers.

"Why have you brought me here?"

Shoppers of Mystery.

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'

5 foot high or less aisle in a supermarket

"We need to have a meeting because I have the doughnuts."

Organic Milk