Stock Market Player Gifts

'Should I buy or sell?'

"I thought I was investing in emerging markets but I was investing in submerging markets and lost my shirt."

"Try this – I just bought a hundred shares."

'A damned fine financial adviser you turned out to be !'

Money down the drain.

"You said you wanted a diversified portfolio so I made sure to include some real stinkers."

"Geez. That's not a good sign."

'Well, you're bankrupt, but look on the bright side -- it only cost you eight dollars per transaction!'

I used the wrong investment group.

'..Saddam Hussein's money stash could pay off the U.S. budget deficit.'

The Wall Street Journal Building.

"We haven't lowered our fees, but we do offer discounted grief counseling."

Oil Price: Let's enjoy the ride!

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Will work for ETFs

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

A child runs an equity stand.

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

Dow Jones drop

Jumping Wall Street.