Property Market Player Gifts

First Time Liars.

Starter Home

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

"I've invested in property..."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

"Look, son, real estate."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

"Sold his air rights."

Home Sweet Second Home.

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

'I can count on one hand the number of contracts that I didn't finish on time.'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'It started out as a little tree house for the kids and we kept adding on to it.'

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'