Stats Buff Gifts

'You say you always give 110% effort-an odd answer for a job as a statistician. . .'

Great Moments in Computing #192: Newton discovers the computer.

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

'Once I got the cold fusion problem out of the way, the rest was easy!'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

'Every time we clear all the snow another blizzard hits. We're cursed men Frank. Cursed!'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

Hysterically laughing monster.

Trawling for Fish.

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

Graph to find your IQ

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

"They have special forces, but we have policy reports!"

''Relativity,' you say? — Well, it can't be any worse than your 'speed bump' theory.'

"... But here in the outside world, I need more time and I need more space."

Physics toy.

Progress: The amount of effort expended multiplied by the square of the ratio of scientists to managers: P=E X (S/M)2.

Welcome to Roswell. I can't believe that you forgot that space is curved.

Imran Khan

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'

Higgs Boson particles at a training session: "Geneva is a no-fly zone."

"Lovely weather for it."

"Y' know Sir - Red really is your colour..."

'We're a paperless office - except for executive bonuses.'

'Teddy, someone from the Pentagon wants to talk to you about drones in Pakistan, whatever that means.'

'Sorry I'm late, but you know how time slows down when you speed up.'

Swing in the winter.

"Ahem...any other reasons why you think you'd be suitable for working at the Large Hadron Collider?"

Snowman asks boy: 'Mind if I come in too? It's freezing out here.'