Balance Buff Gifts

'Your head weighs 26 pounds, same as your feet.'

Falls at work.

'There must be safer means of facial expression than closed eyes...'

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

Happy Birthday

Scales

Great Moments in Computing #192: Newton discovers the computer.

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

'Once I got the cold fusion problem out of the way, the rest was easy!'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

Hysterically laughing monster.

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

'What a wonderful day to declare chapter 13!'

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

Tariff Adjustment

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

''Relativity,' you say? — Well, it can't be any worse than your 'speed bump' theory.'

"... But here in the outside world, I need more time and I need more space."

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

Physics toy.

Monkey casino study.

Conserve water! NO compulsive hand washing

'China's on the phone, Mr. President -- they say you're overdrawn.'

"It's a plant based solution."

Progress: The amount of effort expended multiplied by the square of the ratio of scientists to managers: P=E X (S/M)2.

Higgs Boson particles at a training session: "Geneva is a no-fly zone."

'Mind if we play through?'

"You're tattooed all over although you're not a football pro?! Man, that's cultural appropriation!"