Magic Buff Gifts

"I can probably help you with the crossword, but that's about it."

'I don't care WHO started it!'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Knight Golfing

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

Missing You.

Great Moments in Computing #192: Newton discovers the computer.

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

"....and hold the garlic."

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

'Once I got the cold fusion problem out of the way, the rest was easy!'

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

Knights of the Square Table.

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

Hysterically laughing monster.

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'You can't recuse yourself from a war!'

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

"I'm thinking of giving up yoga! Yesterday my lotus position turned into a cauliflower!"

'McWit, I'd like to talk to you about your blood classification system.'

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"You never know what will catch on!"

"This is the first time you've ever planned a moat, I'm guessing?"

"With a little luck he'll be a benevolent teenager."

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

"... But here in the outside world, I need more time and I need more space."

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."