Statistics Buff Gifts

'We'll only do 72% of it, since it's been reported that 28% of surgery is unnecessary.'

Interest Rates

Graph to find your IQ

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'Our crime figures are down!'

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

Bank Robbery Statistics

"I hate to be a downer, but, statistically, people are more likely to die of heart disease than by getting

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"Frankly, Harold, you're beginning to bore everyone with your statistics."

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'Our sabermetrics guy has confirmed that last year's team that went 60-102 was bad.'

'The idea of an artists' retreat is to get AWAY from business concerns, Mr. Harlow.'

The statistician marrying the probability expert...

Those Who Get Off On Not Social Distancing: 87% Celebrities On ZOOM: 83%. "We're All In This Together": 82%

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

"Now is the part of the show when we ask the audience to shout out some random numbers."

'You say you always give 110% effort-an odd answer for a job as a statistician. . .'

"You'll be pleased to know you're making good progress - you've just become a statistic."

"Study after study shows that more and more people are participating in studies."

'According to these statistics you'll probably outlive me...'

The Stat family

Phone Quiz - Your Chance of Winning Is: A A Cat in Hells, B A Cat in Hells, C All of the Above.

'Yes, Winklestein, that is a very nice drawing of a little cat.'

Probability Test.

"So far, decliners outnumber advancers nine to seven."

Man confusing man using statistics.

People think accountancy is just about numbers, but there is also the fractions, the percentages

"We're updating stats for our fantasy football league."