Statistics Enthusiast Gifts

"The government does not want to hide behind statistics, but..."

"Study after study shows that more and more people are participating in studies."

'According to these statistics you'll probably outlive me...'

"So far, decliners outnumber advancers nine to seven."

The Miracle Worker

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"I love your optimism."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

Aggression/Security

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

'That one is a bit more expensive, but it comes with a profit.'

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

'15% of Americans don't have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don't even realize it.'

Customer Complaints - "Thank you, Thompson, for collecting the statistics."

"And this is another economic indicator."