Static Warriors Gifts

"You forgot again? How hard is it to pick up dryer sheets?"

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

Workaholics Anonymous meeting: 'No one showed up. Everyone is working.'

Information Macht Frei

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

"Remember when I told you rust might become a problem in the future?"

"Sea animals are long since extinct but he ocean is still dangerous for swimmers!"

"Work with me!"

Early Resentment Towards Yuppies.

The whale and the plastic bottle.

"It's remarkable, Mr. Volmer. You have the clothes of a man half your age!"

"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."

'Once upon a time there were some me with big sticks, and these men, they said to everyone else...'

GOP: 'I didn't come to Washington to champion the midle class! There's no money in that!'

"All the chairs have been repossessed, so these are all standing desks now."

Back to Zoom Savings

"Mother, please!"

'- See you when we land, Simkins. I'm travelling First Class and I booked you economy, of course...'

Pass It Down Economics...

"I got rich by hard work. Someone else's."

Warning! No Cell Phone Service Next 20 Miles.

"This is a tough hockey league. I'm just the team's webmaster."

"ER says she was Googling diseases."

"I publish unfettered on the web."

"I'll have the 7."

Creation: The True Story

"My ocean cousin is coming to visit. I thought I'd make him feel at home."

"I what way do you see your Chronic Fatigue Syndrome affect your job?"

Genteel man in spacious conservatory, depicted next to family in a cramped garret: 'What the people can want with a crystal palace on Sundays, I can't think! Surely they ought to be contented with their church and then home afterwards.'