Stage Warrior Gifts

"Mother, please!"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'They all want to play the star.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Stephen Fry

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

Woman crying with happiness.

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Mensa Does Improv

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

Waving from Behind the Curtain

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

E=Emcee Squared

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

'I'm a star!'

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'We had to donwsize.'

Chekov play and scorecard,

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

TV stage door

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"My first love is the theatre, of course, but you're right up there."

Performance In The Bedroom