Startup Surviver Gifts

Desk Request

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Late/Too Late.

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

'Our company has hit an iceberg and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

Cafe Burns.

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

With the office space available, we have no choice but to believe in teamwork!

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

"And who, may I ask, is financing this startup country?"

"All that's left is inventing something insanely popular!"

'Wow, my own desk!'

"I'm Bobby. If you like the lemonade, perhaps you'd like to invest in the 'Jimmy's Lemonade' franchise, listed in NASDAQ..."

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

'Oh, we tried a nurturing corporate culture, but we found the law-of-the-jungle mentality is what keeps our competitive edge..'

'The company I ran was non-profit, but that wasn't intentional.'

"Hi, I'm Cindy, the company's most toxic employee!"

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

Setting up companies

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

"...Then she took the divorce settlement money...and set up a company that's putting me out of business."

"The Internet has totally revolutionized the way white guys get rich."