Startup Survivors Gifts

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"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

'Our company has hit an iceberg and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

"And who, may I ask, is financing this startup country?"

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

'Wow, my own desk!'

"All that's left is inventing something insanely popular!"

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

'The company I ran was non-profit, but that wasn't intentional.'

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

Setting up companies

Home for the Holidays

Mark Zuckerberg

"The Internet has totally revolutionized the way white guys get rich."

'I am sorry Davis, your bonus is a bit different this year, its all down to cashflow; but you can take your pick.'

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

'I decided to close the stand and sell the lemonade on eBay.'

"...Then she took the divorce settlement money...and set up a company that's putting me out of business."

"Miss Davis, bring me everything we've got on turning a two-bit hole-in-the-wall operation into a multinational juggernaut."

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

"I crunched the numbers until cautiously opportunistic."

"How much do you need?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, start your companies!"

'We hope to invest in a few start-ups with national franchise potential.'