Failed Startup Survivors Gifts

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

"I have no toys just yet. I have a concept of a plan for toys...toys like no one has ever seen before."

"Ambitions... to open an office on Mars. Kennedy Space Center."

'Our company has hit an iceberg and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

"'Start a company, make money.' Your business plan may be missing a few steps in the middle."

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"Never mind devices - we need to establish a 'bring your own funding' policy."

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

S.S.dot.com

And elevator with 'up', 'down', and 'pitches' buttons

"And who, may I ask, is financing this startup country?"

"I'm appointing you head of marketing...your first job is to come up with something we can market...and to who??"

"Ok Watson, what have you dreamed up?"

"All that's left is inventing something insanely popular!"

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

'Wow, my own desk!'

Recycling bin for 'short term business plans'

'The company I ran was non-profit, but that wasn't intentional.'

'Obviously, for Ben's proposal to really take off, he'll need a longer runway than our little company can provide!'

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'