Failed Venture Enthusiasts Gifts

A planet like ours - desert piano tuner.

Profit

'Our company has hit an iceberg and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Decision Making Block

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

"My ship had finally come in. . . then it sank!"

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

'This is Adventure Capital! You want Venture Capital two doors down.'

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

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"The cat walking business didn't go anywhere! Neither did we."

We have an all volunteer workforce, and we're still losing money!

I'm on a productivity drive.

"Of course failure is an option; I use it all the time!"

'Turkey dot com.'

"We're a startup. We're looking for someone who can yank this cord."

it's his way of easing into full retirement.

"That's the first dollar I've ever made. Someday, I hope to make another."

"Mr. Saltee"

'Because you're not a boy genius with a billion bucks - THAT's why you can't wear a hoodie to work.'

'You're in great shape! You've got years of hostile take-overs ahead of you.'

Quite the entrepreneur...

A painter drawing a ship

"Why didn't I think of that?"

"Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury."

"I'll probably hate myself in the morning."

'Then it's moved and seconded that the compulsory retirement age be fixed at twentyfive'

'It's said that money talks. That's true, but unfortunately all its ever said to me was 'Good bye'.'