Startup Warriors Gifts

Business Advice

"Sure, you have to spend money to make money, but first you have to steal money."

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Boom

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'I just wanted to thank you for grounding me to my room for the weekend. I took the time to start a computer programming company, which earned me $13 million.'

Member of the Fortune 5 Million

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

"Just to get the negotiations off on the right foot, I don't intent to concede anything."

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

"The first one was the hardest."

Sad businessman with sinking profits

'We're facing a hostile takeover.'

'He works in Acquisitions.'

"Watch these old guys- you can learn a lot."

Setting up companies

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

"I've simplified our work process!"

"Got some bad news for you, Larry."

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"The cat walking business didn't go anywhere! Neither did we."

'The Position's yours, Henderson - But first you must defeat our champion.'

Desk Request

Pen mightier than sword.

"junior, I'll explain 'taxation' to you, if you explain 'crowdfunding' to me."

It's time for a corporate shakeup. You squeeze, I'll stir.

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

"We're a startup. We're looking for someone who can yank this cord."

One Man Band

"It's J.B.'s new junior executive promotion policy. . . whoever survives gets the promotion!"

"Fantastic business concept! I'm sure with that we'll convince the bank to give us a 87,000,000 Euro loan!"

"I can't decide which one of you should get the promotion, so I'm setting up a boxing match between you two to decide."