Starting Surgical Residency Gifts

'You're excused. Anyone else feel too squeamish to witness the procedure?'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Little doctor.

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

"Gross."

'Long shift?'

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

'Wilkins! Keep your eyes on your own cadaver!'

The importance of paying attention in med school.

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

"Bad news, Dad—you're brain-dead!"

"Okay, I've got lousy bedside manner, but I draw a smiley faces on all your prescriptions."

Doctor sleeps in a patients bed.

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

'Four years of medical school and three years of residency, and you come bothering me with the sniffles?'

'There are some things they don't teach you in medical school. I think you've got one of those things.'

"Well, there's nothing in the rules that says baboons can't perform surgery, so what the hey, let's give him a shot."

"Dad, I want to become a doctor. I already know something about anatomy: A human being consists of a head, a belly, legs, arms, and a smartphone."

'So let this be a lesson to you Courtney, 'there's no people like showpeople!''

'The position will be a success if you're not suing me.'

"Over here, by the whatchanacalalit...somebody get the anatomy book."

"If you find anything else wrong, just go ahead and fix it."

'Every new neurosurgery intern has to make the joke about the patient having an 'open mind' but then they get over it.'

"Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator."

'Notice how I stare at the forms like I'm actually reading them... and generally moving very slowly so I'm a little further behind schedule as the day progresses.'

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

"Congratulations, Doc, you got a 'thumbs up' on Facebook!"

Recycling Bin in Operating Theatre

"Now I'm going to offer a second opinion."

Philosophy Class for Proctology Students