Medical Residency Gifts

"Now I'm going to offer a second opinion."

Dancing Doctor

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

"Gross."

'Long shift?'

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"Turn your head and cough."

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

Current location

The importance of paying attention in med school.

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Doctor surrounded by notes.

"Okay, I've got lousy bedside manner, but I draw a smiley faces on all your prescriptions."

"I came up through the ranks."

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

Doctor sleeps in a patients bed.

'You're excused. Anyone else feel too squeamish to witness the procedure?'

'Four years of medical school and three years of residency, and you come bothering me with the sniffles?'

'There are some things they don't teach you in medical school. I think you've got one of those things.'

"Well, there's nothing in the rules that says baboons can't perform surgery, so what the hey, let's give him a shot."

"Meanwhile at Oak Vista Rest Home... In case of birthday cake fire break glass."

'The position will be a success if you're not suing me.'

"Over here, by the whatchanacalalit...somebody get the anatomy book."

"If you find anything else wrong, just go ahead and fix it."

"Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator."

'Sponge diving, Bob?'

'Don't worry, Kyle. You're gonna be ok. The athletic trainer will tape you up and get you back on the field in no time.'

'Notice how I stare at the forms like I'm actually reading them... and generally moving very slowly so I'm a little further behind schedule as the day progresses.'