Completing Medical Residency Gifts

"You're doing remarkably well considering I'm a 'Quack'."

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Dancing Doctor

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

Fighting the Pandemic

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'

Dog forced to return bone

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'What's holding him up?'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'Long shift?'

En garde!

"Gross."

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

"Turn your head and cough."

'That's the diagnosis of my diagnostic desktop. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my diagnostic tablet.'

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

The importance of paying attention in med school.

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"