Completing Surgical Residency Gifts

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator."

Dancing Doctor

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

'What's holding him up?'

"Gross."

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

"Turn your head and cough."

'Wilkins! Keep your eyes on your own cadaver!'

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

Current location

The importance of paying attention in med school.

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Doctor surrounded by notes.

Doctor sleeps in a patients bed.

'You're excused. Anyone else feel too squeamish to witness the procedure?'

'Four years of medical school and three years of residency, and you come bothering me with the sniffles?'

'There are some things they don't teach you in medical school. I think you've got one of those things.'

"Well, there's nothing in the rules that says baboons can't perform surgery, so what the hey, let's give him a shot."

'The position will be a success if you're not suing me.'

"Over here, by the whatchanacalalit...somebody get the anatomy book."

"If you find anything else wrong, just go ahead and fix it."

'Notice how I stare at the forms like I'm actually reading them... and generally moving very slowly so I'm a little further behind schedule as the day progresses.'

'Sponge diving, Bob?'

"Congratulations, Doc, you got a 'thumbs up' on Facebook!"

Philosophy Class for Proctology Students

'He's playing 'Doctor'.'

Recycling Bin in Operating Theatre

"Now I'm going to offer a second opinion."

'You're wrong...this is brain surgery.'

Gynecology pigeon hole

It's not catching, is it? - The doctor hates to catch things.