Medical Residency Completion Gifts

'Sorry, we don't know as much as we'd like to about warming a stethoscope.'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Dancing Doctor

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

Fighting the Pandemic

'Hello, I'm Dr. Frank Stein and this is my anaesthetist, Dr. Ivan Gore. We'll be doing your hernia operation tomorrow.'

Dog forced to return bone

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

'It's a new technique for training interns: suture by numbers,'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'What's holding him up?'

En garde!

'Long shift?'

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"Gross."

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

"Turn your head and cough."

'Wilkins! Keep your eyes on your own cadaver!'

'That's the diagnosis of my diagnostic desktop. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my diagnostic tablet.'

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

"Are you sure you're not holding your breath?"