Starting A Residency Gifts

Practice Makes Perfect

"According to these results, I shouldn't have gone to Med School in Grenada."

"Well it's not so much an ITCH, more a slight irritation, what could it be?"

Dancing Doctor

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

"Gross."

'Long shift?'

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"Turn your head and cough."

Current location

The importance of paying attention in med school.

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Weather channel.

Doctor surrounded by notes.

"Okay, I've got lousy bedside manner, but I draw a smiley faces on all your prescriptions."

Doctor sleeps in a patients bed.

'You're excused. Anyone else feel too squeamish to witness the procedure?'

'Four years of medical school and three years of residency, and you come bothering me with the sniffles?'

"When we agreed that you would move in, Mr. Goodrich, you didn't mention Rex."

'There are some things they don't teach you in medical school. I think you've got one of those things.'

"Sick? You're not sick! The money I owe on my student loans... now that's sick!"

"Well, there's nothing in the rules that says baboons can't perform surgery, so what the hey, let's give him a shot."

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'The position will be a success if you're not suing me.'

"Over here, by the whatchanacalalit...somebody get the anatomy book."

"If you find anything else wrong, just go ahead and fix it."

"Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator."

'Sponge diving, Bob?'

'Notice how I stare at the forms like I'm actually reading them... and generally moving very slowly so I'm a little further behind schedule as the day progresses.'

"Now I'm going to offer a second opinion."