Starting Adulthood Gifts

The Facts of Life

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

Three kids in a trench coat, twenty years later.

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

'Where Are They Now?'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

High Pants/Low Pants.

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

'No, thanks. My folks won't let me get any piercings, yet.'

'Yes, John's here, but he can't come to the phone at the moment. He's had a hard day so he's taking some time in his bouncy saucer.'

"Mom, I'm old enough to catch my own worms now. I don't need you to regurgitate them into my mouth anymore."

"So you dreamed you were an adult?"

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

Johnny departs from the Family Banjo Tradition.

Forming the adolescent personality

The end of innocence

"Why be a princess...when I can be a queen?"

'Not till you're sixteen.'