Adulthood Transition Gifts

You're not a little girl anymore

'We've brought you up to be casually dishonest - you're old enough now to formalise the habit.'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

The fate of the emigrant

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Three kids in a trench coat, twenty years later.

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

'Where Are They Now?'

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

"Hon, I'm taking your advice and starting a new chapter."

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

Doubt or Certainy

'So push has come to shove...'

Women

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

Pubertry

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

PastFuture.

"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."

Eighteenth Birthday.

"Awake and doing great"

"Just be happy you're getting in, worry about your hair later."

Al, you need to get over your childish desire for a pony. It's not childish, doctor. I only started wanting one last week.

It was the first Christmas he hadn't gotten any toys, and he realized he was now a man... he also realized sweaters are lame.

"Hello, I'm the bluebird of quiet resignation."

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."