Approaching Adulthood Gifts

'The kids are at that age when they'd really like to know our net worth.'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

Three kids in a trench coat, twenty years later.

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

'Where Are They Now?'

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

High Pants/Low Pants.

'No, thanks. My folks won't let me get any piercings, yet.'

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

"So you dreamed you were an adult?"

"Mom, I'm old enough to catch my own worms now. I don't need you to regurgitate them into my mouth anymore."

Johnny departs from the Family Banjo Tradition.

Forming the adolescent personality

"Why be a princess...when I can be a queen?"

The end of innocence

'Not till you're sixteen.'