Growing Adult Gifts

"Today I got my first bill."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

Three kids in a trench coat, twenty years later.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

'Where Are They Now?'

"You used to be a lot more fun."