Adulting Gifts

How to injury yourself as an adult

'When you're a kid, you keep score with report cards. When you grow up, it's credit scores.'

'One thing wrong with the younger generation, we don't belong to it anymore.'

Secrets of Adulthood.

How do I get downtown from here? Where am I supposed to live? How do people shop? What am I going to do all day? What if I need money for shoes?

"Life is full of transitions...like from student loan to credit card debt."

The Facts of Life

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

Illusionist Secrets Revealed - "The functioning adult"

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

Rex grits his teeth, puts on his big boy pantaloons and gears up for the day ahead.

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"This can't be happening! I'm supposed to be a cool adult! At least I bet I have a cool car!"

'Time for Daddy to tell you the 'Facts of life'...'

'I don't hate Mondays -- I FEAR Mondays!'

"Edmond is at that awkward age – too old to be a 'rising star', too young to be 'one of a dying breed.'"

"Awake and doing great"

This is the best part—the hero is still hopeful for something good, before he realizes it’s all bills.

Hot chocolate. Huh? What? Uh, sure. What's the matter? Are you sad? You look sad. No, no. I'm fine. Hot chocolate coming up. Oh, okay. I'm definitely not sad. How come adults won't say when they're sad? I am the opposite of sad.

Al, you need to get over your childish desire for a pony. It's not childish, doctor. I only started wanting one last week.

Beware... the Piñata of Adulthood

"Sure, he's ascended to a god-like state. But from what I hear, he's still on his family's cell phone plan."

Adult attention deficit disorders (A.A.D.D.)

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

'Where Are They Now?'

"I know it hurts, Henry, but sooner of later everybody has to condo the home he grew up in."

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

Three kids in a trench coat, twenty years later.

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

Pubertry