Adults Gifts

"If being normal is so natural.....why is it such a strain?"

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

'Are we broke yet?'

Three kids in a trench coat, twenty years later.

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

Peter

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

'Where Are They Now?'

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"A wage increase to match inflation."

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

Having installed a hydraulically operated wall in their 25-year-old's bedroom...

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'I blame my parents, they never set me any standards worth rebelling against.'

My Folks, dressed up like Eskimos

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

"Don't worry - the Power of Dad still trumps the Power of Attorney."

"Although the estate will be distributed equally, your father wanted you all to know that Keith was his favorite, followed by..."

"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."

"Sorry, Kevin, but having the wi-fi down for a couple of hour is not 'living off the grid'."