Adult Friends Gifts

"Seats two comfortably. Three if your kinky."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

Heavy meals on wheels

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"You know you're getting old when..."

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

Maybe you should leave the evolving to the younger fish.

"We missed Fashion Week!"

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

'When the poor dear retired, he found that he missed his little cubicle.'

Remember when?... When was that?

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

'At first his nose ring irritated me, but then I made him tie a string to it. Now I can lead him around.'

"I still jump out of bed every morning. I just don't stick the landing as often."

"How did his last remark make you feel?"

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

"I remember when you used to whisper sweet nothings in my ear."

'Don't you be dissing the Ho' now!'

"You've still got it Joao."

"There you go again, withdrawing into your shell..."

'Don't be silly, dear. You don't look a day over one hundred eighty three.'

When Seniors Fly

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

'Okay, I'll stand on the mantle, but she's never going to believe you bagged a duck.'