Becoming An Adult Gifts

'When you're a kid, you keep score with report cards. When you grow up, it's credit scores.'

"Find a patch of sunlight, my boy. Find a patch of sunlight and bask in it."

"Son, you're all grown up now. You owe me two hundred and fourteen thousand dollars."

Eighteenth Birthday.

"I'll let you kids in, but you're gonna have to pay taxes and deal with your own mortality."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

It was the first Christmas he hadn't gotten any toys, and he realized he was now a man... he also realized sweaters are lame.

'Time for Daddy to tell you the 'Facts of life'...'

"...And when you turn eighteen, you go over to the dark side, like Mom and Dad."

"This can't be happening! I'm supposed to be a cool adult! At least I bet I have a cool car!"

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

Three kids in a trench coat, twenty years later.

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'