Stage Stumbler Gifts

'Are your knees knocking with stage fright?'

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"Bravo!"

"I just need help getting the pit out."

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

"I can neither confirm nor deny what this next song is about."

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Take a bow!

Suddenly, Becky noticed something which gave her pause.

Those missing socks...where do they go?

3D Theatre

Rock & Roll

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

Sport in library

'Nothing doing folks, except ? surprise, surprise ? here's another for you, Desert Island Bloke.'

Simultaneous translation.

'What was the question?'

Mic Drop

Fry's Family: Uncle Frank always preferred his eggs hard-boiled.

"There's a big difference between being a method actor and a meth OD'd actor, Burt."

A woman in glasses

"Fred Hoskins-you've turned pro,then?"

'Now THAT'S just showing off!'

"Your husband has been diagnosed with 'football fever.' It's a common illness this time of year."

'Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats, tonight's performance is about to begin!'

Community Playhouse. Actually, live theater is always in 3-D. (Published originally on March 11, 2014.)

Movember

'Ah, the start of a new season, the roar of the crowd as the lads emerge from the tunnel. . . The FA Cup. . . Europe. . .'

'Is there a doctor in the audience, or preferably a handsome actor who can play a doctor?'

'This is my original eighties designer stubble.'

"You may feel a slight twinge..."

'I used to be afraid of public speaking, but since I realised everyone falls asleep after 15 minutes...'

'I spent $1,500 on ski equipment, and now not only have I no balance on the slopes, I have no balance in the bank.'

Skater falls, judges score cards say OOOOF!