Stage Buff Pillows

"Horse's ass is not just your job description, Larry."

Showbiz Awards

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Backfire

'One eye of newt or two?'

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Trump! The Musical

Saint George and the Drag Queen

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Bloody hell!"

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

A little bird told me...

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Mikado

Mikado

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

Deflator mouse

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

"Is there a vegan option?"

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

"Of course I'm dressed like a cheap w***e! It's Halloween! Duhh!"

Cat Hecklers

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

Cossack dancers

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Beware of the frog"

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.