Stage Art Fan Gifts

The Land Before Mimes.

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Hug and Do a Chorus Line Kick.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Wok. Don't Wok.

Taking a peek at the audience

Senta jumps into the sea

Scarpia from Tosca

Pharaoh Cocoon

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"I can neither confirm nor deny what this next song is about."

Jester Surgeon

Da Vinci painting a grumpy version of Mona Lisa.

"Charming, absolutely charming."

"Oh no! Some self-obsessed, anti-social bastard has graffitied over your graffiti!"

"She said it has a blistering fervency that reminds her of a slide."

The Sculptor

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

Circus

Ann suddenly realized that it wasn't her iron that she forgot to turn off, but her cell phone.

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

Ghostship

"Wentworth, could I take another look at that reorganization plan?"

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

Suddenly, Becky noticed something which gave her pause.

'I don't know. It's too busy.'

"Habanero ..."