Stage Production Fan Gifts

'Is there a doctor in the audience, or preferably a handsome actor who can play a doctor?'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

Comedy Cafe

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Hug and Do a Chorus Line Kick.

"To be or not to be."

Taking a peek at the audience

Scarpia from Tosca

'She sounds like your mother when you told her that you were going to marry me.'

Senta jumps into the sea

Falstaff

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

Jester Surgeon

"I can neither confirm nor deny what this next song is about."

"Charming, absolutely charming."

Ghostship

Ann suddenly realized that it wasn't her iron that she forgot to turn off, but her cell phone.

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Suddenly, Becky noticed something which gave her pause.

'I don't know. It's too busy.'

'He's a parody of a tired genre.'

The Land Before Mimes.

Meryl Streep

A Mime Artist pretending to feed the pigeons.

'They're bound to hurt at first.'

Clara had come a long waw from those readings at the public library.

'You're thinking of your wife again, aren't you?'

'I am beginning my windup now. ... Drum roll, please.'

"This next song is also about air-conditioning."

"Here's another can. Try not to step in this one."