Stadium Sommelier Gifts

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

Keith Floyd.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

Just the one...

1930's Lady.

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

Nouveau wine

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

'This Chardonnay is so over-oaked, it comes with a 2-year service contract from Terminix.'

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

"House red, sir?"

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

"And this is our 'panic room'. We usually pop in here after watching the nightly news."

Join me in a cup of tea!

'And this is my dad. He's the wine critic for The Herald and he can drink your dads under the table.'

"I understand he's in aroma therapy.''

'How many times did you think you could get away with using the term 'bouchon d'expedition' on the first date?'

'I wonder if we strike wine again!'

"Not bad for prison Hooch. It lacks body, but I ain't complaining. The last time someone did, he added one."

"Yeah, I'll say that's a good head, now is there any chance you can put ome beer under it?"

"Might I suggest a full-bodied white?"

"Oh no, it's far too tart"

"While here, you'll have to try our food desert, too!"

'Sir has made the most discerning choice to wash it down with Drain Glug.'

'This wine doesn't need to breathe...it needs CPR!'

(I'm tasting berries with deep earth overtones and a definite hint of almond) (That would be the Cyanide.)

Advanced course at the Wine Appreciation Institute in my house.

'Your House Wines seem rather pricey - d'you have any Bungalow Wines?'