Supermarket Sommelier Gifts

'It's a remarkably accessible wine - £2.99 a bottle from Lidl.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

Keith Floyd.

Just the one...

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

Nouveau wine

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

'This Chardonnay is so over-oaked, it comes with a 2-year service contract from Terminix.'

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

Complex Carbs

"Wait. Let it breathe."

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

'We're going to need a bigger basket.'

Wine-tasting Tour.

Birthday Party Supplies: Plates, Cups, Decorations, Games, Aspirin, Ibuprofen.

"I told you shaken, not stirred."

'How many times did you think you could get away with using the term 'bouchon d'expedition' on the first date?'

"Someone's gone to look for a price - they won't be long!"

"I understand he's in aroma therapy.''

"Yeah, I'll say that's a good head, now is there any chance you can put ome beer under it?"

"While here, you'll have to try our food desert, too!"

"Might I suggest a full-bodied white?"

People putting their grocery shopping into shopping carts that are cornucopias.

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

"Red with meant, white with fish. . . but it all goes great with chocolate!"

'This wine doesn't need to breathe...it needs CPR!'

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

Advanced course at the Wine Appreciation Institute in my house.

"What would the world be like without wine? I can't bear to think of it."

'Your House Wines seem rather pricey - d'you have any Bungalow Wines?'