Amateur Sommelier Gifts

(I'm tasting berries with deep earth overtones and a definite hint of almond) (That would be the Cyanide.)

Wine bottle placed in plaster cask from broken leg.

"And this is our 'panic room'. We usually pop in here after watching the nightly news."

Wine merchant convincing his customer that he has an extensive cellar

'And this is my dad. He's the wine critic for The Herald and he can drink your dads under the table.'

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

'A regular chip off the old bottle.'

'Jack lost his job as a door-to-door salesman. He went through 7 cases of samples before ringing his first doorbell.'

'I wonder if we strike wine again!'

'Sir has made the most discerning choice to wash it down with Drain Glug.'

A glass of red wine

"I think this one will suit you, 'A dizzy little number, with a hint of musty socks'."

"I know it's good wine. I do my own research."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Just the one...

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

Nouveau wine

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

'This Chardonnay is so over-oaked, it comes with a 2-year service contract from Terminix.'

"House red, sir?"

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

Becalmed yachts

"My husband makes this wine."

Wine-tasting Tour.

'How many times did you think you could get away with using the term 'bouchon d'expedition' on the first date?'

'And here's a year's supply of Jim's Pinot Noir. When you taste it, you'll know why it's a year's supply.'

Home Wine Making Kit.

"Yeah, I'll say that's a good head, now is there any chance you can put ome beer under it?"

'Oh no, the Gradwells are here with their homemade wine!'

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"