Artsy Sommelier Gifts

'Why do I choose to paint with wine?--The clean-up.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

Just the one...

1930's Lady.

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

Nouveau wine

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

'This Chardonnay is so over-oaked, it comes with a 2-year service contract from Terminix.'

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

"And this is our 'panic room'. We usually pop in here after watching the nightly news."

Join me in a cup of tea!

'And this is my dad. He's the wine critic for The Herald and he can drink your dads under the table.'

'How many times did you think you could get away with using the term 'bouchon d'expedition' on the first date?'

'I wonder if we strike wine again!'

"I understand he's in aroma therapy.''

From The Museum Of Modern Art's Collection Of American Mixology......The Mies Martini

"Yeah, I'll say that's a good head, now is there any chance you can put ome beer under it?"

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

"Oh no, it's far too tart"

"Might I suggest a full-bodied white?"

"While here, you'll have to try our food desert, too!"

'Sir has made the most discerning choice to wash it down with Drain Glug.'

'This wine doesn't need to breathe...it needs CPR!'

"Red with meant, white with fish. . . but it all goes great with chocolate!"