Artsy Sommelier Gifts

'Why do I choose to paint with wine?--The clean-up.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Keith Floyd.

Just the one...

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

1930's Lady.

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

Nouveau wine

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

'This Chardonnay is so over-oaked, it comes with a 2-year service contract from Terminix.'

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

"And this is our 'panic room'. We usually pop in here after watching the nightly news."

Join me in a cup of tea!

'And this is my dad. He's the wine critic for The Herald and he can drink your dads under the table.'

"I understand he's in aroma therapy.''

'How many times did you think you could get away with using the term 'bouchon d'expedition' on the first date?'

'I wonder if we strike wine again!'

From The Museum Of Modern Art's Collection Of American Mixology......The Mies Martini

"Yeah, I'll say that's a good head, now is there any chance you can put ome beer under it?"

"Oh no, it's far too tart"

'Sir has made the most discerning choice to wash it down with Drain Glug.'

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

"Might I suggest a full-bodied white?"

"Red with meant, white with fish. . . but it all goes great with chocolate!"

"While here, you'll have to try our food desert, too!"