Tipsy Sommelier Gifts

"Which one had the health benefits in it?"

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

1930's Lady.

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

'It's first flush Darjeeling darling!'

Nouveau wine

'This Chardonnay is so over-oaked, it comes with a 2-year service contract from Terminix.'

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

Join me in a cup of tea!

"I'd say my favourite wine is the sixth one."

Wine-tasting Tour.

'How many times did you think you could get away with using the term 'bouchon d'expedition' on the first date?'

"Red with meant, white with fish. . . but it all goes great with chocolate!"

"Oh no, it's far too tart"

"I want a wine that's wise but unassuming, and not ashamed of a screw on cap."

Liquor Store: Lean to Open.

"Ewww – Cabernet with tuna fish?"

'Man, the next hangover will kill me for sure... that's why I've decided to be drunk 24 hours a day!'

"While here, you'll have to try our food desert, too!"

'This wine doesn't need to breathe...it needs CPR!'

"Might I suggest a full-bodied white?"

"What would the world be like without wine? I can't bear to think of it."

'Your House Wines seem rather pricey - d'you have any Bungalow Wines?'

Grape vines think alike.

Wine Shotput

'Oops! Almost spilt some in the food.'

'Splendid choice, sir! Our patrons who don't know the difference between mediocrity and excellence, love it.'

'My corkscrew is broken.'