Tipsy Connoisseur Gifts

'Man, the next hangover will kill me for sure... that's why I've decided to be drunk 24 hours a day!'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

Imagine

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

Who's a cutey?

"I suffered a stroke."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"I'd say my favourite wine is the sixth one."

"It's an agreeable little wine."

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

Thanks for the tip. Come again!

Blue wine

"I'm working on a watercolor."

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

Tip Responsibly

Young boy shows refined taste in champagne

'Owner's kid. Gets paid under the table.'

"We have a Sauvignon Blanc to refresh your palate or a lick of this toad to obliterate your sense of self."

Liquor Store: Lean to Open.

'Honk if you know the meaning of life'

'You know, this is the second bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

'Boy, Grandmas sure are cute at that age.'

"I think this one will suit you, 'A dizzy little number, with a hint of musty socks'."

"Thank you, sir. I see you're not hopelessly liberal."

'She went down 80 years ago, and there's still a line to get to the wine bar.'

"Ray says he serves his homemade wine this way for the presentation, but believe me, it's because it improves the taste."

'When does salmon season start?!'

Your usual ginseng pumpernickel ostrich-sweat latte? No thanks. I wanna try something different today. The pecan praline white chocolate mocha's also good. Ooh, that sounds good. I'll have one of those. Coming up. But can you substitute macadamia nut for the pecan? That'll take some work, but it's doable. Thank you. And can you substitute turkey tears for the praline? Turkey tears sound good. And can you substitute pureed bagel for the mocha? Pureed bagel sounds lovely. I see where this is going

New! Lemon-Lime Flavor Water Fountain.

"Can you recommend any wines for the middle class?"