Amateur Sommeliers Gifts

'Me, now, I'm just the opposite - Drinking SAVED my marriage.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Keith Floyd.

Just the one...

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

Nouveau wine

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

'I thought too many cooks spoiled the broth.'

"House red, sir?"

'This Chardonnay is so over-oaked, it comes with a 2-year service contract from Terminix.'

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

"And this is our 'panic room'. We usually pop in here after watching the nightly news."

"My husband makes this wine."

'And this is my dad. He's the wine critic for The Herald and he can drink your dads under the table.'

Wine-tasting Tour.

'I wonder if we strike wine again!'

'And here's a year's supply of Jim's Pinot Noir. When you taste it, you'll know why it's a year's supply.'

'How many times did you think you could get away with using the term 'bouchon d'expedition' on the first date?'

Home Wine Making Kit.

"Not bad for prison Hooch. It lacks body, but I ain't complaining. The last time someone did, he added one."

"Yeah, I'll say that's a good head, now is there any chance you can put ome beer under it?"

'I made the mistake of buying Greg a do-it-yourself wine making kit and a beer kit. Now we've got a 5-year supply of chianti with a thick, creamy head.'

"While here, you'll have to try our food desert, too!"

"Oh no, it's far too tart"

'Oh no, the Gradwells are here with their homemade wine!'

"I want a wine that's wise but unassuming, and not ashamed of a screw on cap."

"Might I suggest a full-bodied white?"

'Sir has made the most discerning choice to wash it down with Drain Glug.'