Stadium Showoff Gifts

'I SAID-what's wrong with a RATTLE like the rest of us?'

An old man wearing a band t-shirt

'It's the newest thing out. A big screen fish finder.'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

"The medic said he died of an ST-segment-elevated myocardial infarction -- Jack was always a showoff."

Why do they prefer a pitcher to a belly itcher? Everyone loves a belly itcher!

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'Selling a stock and marking a profit is better than selling it at a loss, if only for the bragging rights.'

George Best

'You wouldn't listen to me. You have to buy the biggest tree in the lot!'

"Now, you show me yours"

'Since our stadium was built with taxpayer support, I regret to inform you that all incentive and signing bonuses must be returned.'

Soccer Fans.

"Because we're jerks."

"If anyone wants me I'll be on the shop floor strutting my stuff."

'A puff of cloud! Quick, close our expensive new roof!'

King of the Swingers.

"He really overdoes it with his opening move ... "

'Now that's what I call a trickshot!'

Pull my finger.

"I attended a leadership seminar. They learnt a lot from me."

Superstar photographs himself making the catch.

Man uses scissor device with lighter attached to light big cigar.

'I wouldn't read that book, dear...it's only there to impress visitors.'

'So do you mate, I'm selling ice creams.'

'Well, when in doubt, I always say, pick the wine that'll impress the hell out of the complete strangers at the next table.'

"Every few years, a book comes along that’s so ahead of its time, so hauntingly beautiful, I’ll buy it and put it on my bookshelf."

Skateboarding peacock.

Modern Stadium.

'Do not even think about it, Ron!'

Grandstander!

'It's a MEXICAN wave not an English one!'

Why it is best to check your Olympics seat location before buying tickets from scalpers.

'Rule #5, all players will be issued a cup to spit in.'