Show-off Gifts

'I wouldn't read that book, dear...it's only there to impress visitors.'

"If anyone wants me I'll be on the shop floor strutting my stuff."

'Well, when in doubt, I always say, pick the wine that'll impress the hell out of the complete strangers at the next table.'

'It's the newest thing out. A big screen fish finder.'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

"Their bookshelves look more convincingly read from than ours."

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'Selling a stock and marking a profit is better than selling it at a loss, if only for the bragging rights.'

"Now, you show me yours"

'You wouldn't listen to me. You have to buy the biggest tree in the lot!'

"...and I'm an incredibly flexible gymnast. If you get my drift..."

"Because we're jerks."

'I SAID-what's wrong with a RATTLE like the rest of us?'

'That was the most spins I ever saw anyone do!'

King of the Swingers.

'Well my anchor is bigger than your anchor!'

'Now that's what I call a trickshot!'

"He really overdoes it with his opening move ... "

How to appear more interesting.

"I attended a leadership seminar. They learnt a lot from me."

Superstar photographs himself making the catch.

Man uses scissor device with lighter attached to light big cigar.

"Who's he trying to impress? Silly ass!"

"Every few years, a book comes along that’s so ahead of its time, so hauntingly beautiful, I’ll buy it and put it on my bookshelf."

'I've always been a bit of a ladies' man.'

"You may not want to read this book but you'll certainly want others to think you've read it."

Grandstander!

Golden Violinist

"Can I have your autograph?"

"More like catch, take humiliating photo, and release."

'Go around the park just one more time.'

We create an e-reader that shows the world your cover on the outside. It'll advertise your interests. Plus, it'll let us all make snap judgments about each other. We can walk by people, see what they're reading and think about how superior we are. You're salivating. Technology, personal judgment. Say no more.

'No, I left the price on to impress the neighbours.'