Sporty Sneakerhead Gifts

I bought a pair of running shoes, and haven't seen them since.

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

'Top of the line sport shoes: They've improved my top speed by 0.5 kmh...'

Thunk! Teddy! Pick them up! They're toxic to all living things! Ok. Ok. But you don't have to exaggerate. Regrettably � I'm not.

"Wait, I'll go down with you. I'm just changing back into my rubber-soled actionwear."

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

Running shoes? You have the wrong idea about "fasting," Brother Ernest!

"Do you have a shoe for roaming and prowling?"

'The meaning of life is to get a nice sneaker contract.'

'We live in a designer trainer.'

"Would you like something by an over promoted high-price athlete or a nobody from Jersey?"

Casting out the Shoe Devil.

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

"Got to have a pair of those!"

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

"I agree, it is important to look good, but wearing high heels during a workout may be a little counter productive."

'So how did Hakeem take it when you told him we'd be paying him in footwear instead of cash this year, for being our spokesman?'

'You have a very advanced case of athlete's foot.'

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

"And the best feature of this shoe is you'll look Athletic even if you're not."

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

"Wingtips--this is a white collar gang."

'Yes, but it was a glass ballet flat that I lost.'

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

'Trainers for actually playing sport in.'

'If I have to buy my sneakers with MY money, doesn't that blur the line between allowance and support.'

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

Blogging Shoes

'Shall I box up the shoes, or does your son want to fly them home?'

"I have a personal trainer."

Extreme Makeover: Old Woman Who Lives in a Basketball Shoe Edition.

'Top of the line sport shoes: They've improved my top speed by 0.5 kmh...'

A chameleon deciding which colour shoes it likes.